It has been said that runners have their best thoughts of the day while out running. Runner and writer
Michael Selman shares his
"Thoughts on Running" with us here at ontherunevents.com.
No words can even come close to capturing the magnitude of the sorrow,
the disbelief, the collective revulsion of the odious events that took
place on September 11th, 2001. How can mere words explain the
inexplicable? How can simple words console the inconsolable? When words
fail, what can one say?
But even when words fail to capture the emotions and the grief, there
is a need to express feelings, even as we still wrestle with them. And
when words fail to answer questions, and words fail to make sense out of
unimaginable pain and suffering, somehow, those failing words still serve
to comfort.
This column has always been nothing more than a monthly compilation of
words, always on the subject of running. In my mind, I have always
fantasized that somehow, in some way, my words would carry so much weight
or inspiration that they could in some way change the world. But this
month, the world has been changed, not by words, but by horrific actions,
and words fail me. There is so much to say, but I don't even know where to
start.
To all of you, who I mostly don't know except by e-mail address, I pray
that you and your families are safe. To those most directly affected by
last week's events, who have suffered personal injury, or lost family and
friends due to the heartless attacks on our country, and on our freedom,
please accept my deepest sympathies. To those who know people who know
people who lost their lives, and I fear that would include every single
one of us, my deepest heartfelt sorrow goes out to you too. Though these
words may fail to soothe, silence at a time like this is not an option. So
I am sending out a column this month, because it is important, even when
words fail.
I was at work when I learned of the attacks. As it slowly began to sink
in that these were calculated strikes, it also became clear that nothing
was going to be quite the same any more. We all started fearing the
absolute worst as we learned that the Pentagon had also been hit. We were
still trying to comprehend what was happening in New York. In that
instant, we all realized our own vulnerability in unison. Suddenly, there
was no safe haven in this world. All the rules were changing as we watched
in disbelief. We realized that history, if there was even to be one, was
going to look back at this day with the type of significance that people
my age have never experienced before. We have only heard of Pearl Harbor,
but we were living this. Many who witnessed both said this was worse. Much
worse.
In routine, there is comfort, and we have been slowly easing back into
what we once called everyday life. The attacks hit us on many fronts, and
instantly took away much of the routine we used to take for granted,
because until now, it had always been there. For the first time ever,
airlines stopped flying, and sports came to a halt. For a short time, in
our shock, we stood paralyzed, both collectively and as individuals. Every
American felt the impact.
By early afternoon I knew a few things for sure. I knew that I was
going to start giving bigger and longer hugs from this point forward. I
knew that I would be getting back in touch with people I haven't spoken to
in quite a while. I knew that I was going to start being more generous in
saying the words "I love you." I knew that I was going to be
more tolerant of minor inconveniences. And I knew I was going to go home
that afternoon, and run.
I didn't feel like running that day, but I had to. My heart wasn't in
it, but the pain and the defiance in my heart drove me to do it. Tuesday's
run was unlike any run I had ever done before. It was not just a run. It
was representative of many things. Every run since then has been just a
little bit different.
It gave me uninterrupted time to mourn a loss of innocence and the loss
of life. It gave me time to reflect on my own mortality, and to reflect on
how fragile life is. And it gave me the opportunity to take my first steps
back towards routine, which is what the terrorists tried to deny us all.
Running did all that.
We are runners, and running is part of who we are. Don't let them
redefine who we are. Don't give them the victory, by allowing them to
dictate how we should live our lives. If you have been unable to get back
into your routine up to this point, get back to running, and every other
thing that you feel you can safely and respectfully do. Declare victory
over those who tell you to be scared, to hide, to stop living.
I don't really know what else to say. When words fail, the spirit
doesn't have to.
Michael
Note from ontherunevents.com:
One way you can help during this trying time is to donate to the Red Cross.
Please do your part!
www.redcross.org
The Roads Scholar, Michael Selman runs and writes in Atlanta GA. He
would love to hear from you. Please e-mail him at TheRoadsScholar@aol.com
with any questions or comments. You can also subscribe to his Newsletter
at that same address.
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